Saturday, April 9, 2011

My time with my third grade creative writing class is winding down.  This week, we taught the kids about revision.  They chose their favorite piece of writing to edit and expand upon.  This final draft will appear in the anthology book (that I am in charge of designing...more about that later) along with one story from the kids in the other third, fourth, and fifth grade classes.

A cute student of mine named Zipporah consistently writes strong, imaginative pieces.  She had an awesome story about polar bears, and my groupmate Jeff tried to convince her to pick that as her final piece.  However, she firmly opposed and chose her story poetically titled "The Day I Lost You and the Day I Found You."  It was based on a lesson plan we had about adjectives and archetypes.  The kids chose one adjective from a bag, and one person from a bag, then connected the words and wrote a story about the resulting character.  Zipporah wrote about a smart USC professor...and then some:

       Jenny is 40 years old.  Her job is a USC professor.  She teaches people how to work problems out.  She is from France.  She also is very smart.  She is nice.  Her favorite student is Daphne because she is sweet and funny.  Also Jenny has hazel eyes.  Daphne would always help her out.  The USC professor would also take Daphne out to dinner.  Jenny said to Daphne, “You’re like a daughter to me.”  She said that because she is always nice.  One day Daphne went back to her country of China.  Jenny the professor got sad so Jenny went to France, and they never saw each other again.
       3 months later…they see each other at the warehouse!  Jenny said, “Daphne, I haven’t seen you in two months.”  They hugged each other.  So they went to the school and Jenny said, “I’m back.”  Daphne said, “Me too.”  They enjoy their life together.  Every day after school they would go to the world famous coffee shop.  They would talk about their trip they went on.
       2 weeks later…Jenny got into a car accident in France!  She was in France because it was spring vacation.  Daphne was so kind that she went to France.  When she got there the doctor said, “She broke her right leg and a bone cracked in her finger so she will be in the hospital for about 4 days.”  Daphne got her a lot of delightful gifts.  Then Jenny got out of the hospital.  They dance and dance until they can fall.  So they went to the Mega France shop.  They bought famous clothes.  They really loved each other.  Then Daphne said, “One day you can go to my country China.”  Jenny said, “No, no, no, I got in a car accident and that is all I need.”  Daphne said, “Ok, ok, that’s a bad idea.”

(I accidentally scanned the first page in black and white, and I'm too lazy to re-scan it in color)

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